The Covenant
The Covenant, also known as cool people split-lipped grapes, are the main enemy in the Halo universe, next to the Sentinels, and the A.I.D.S. They Are a cult who believe that aliens known as the Forerunners have become Gods by firing the Hula Hoops. Sounds a bit like Scientology really... The Covenant do not agree with our humanly ways of 0wning n00bs, so they decided to glass all of our shit. Types of Covenant *Grunts Scaredy Cats God Of All Covenant battle rifle fodder ---- *Engineers- Floating Gas Bags *Drones- weedy fly bees *Prophets- Testical Chins who trick you *Brutes- People hairier than your mums upper lip, who castrate grunts to wear the grunt 'skin hangover' on their groins, because they have none and are jealous *Obamas- creatures, led by the master of Obamas(Barack Obama) who try to be president of you and make themselves gods. These creatures mate spontaneously with brutes *Jackals- Sniper Turkeys *Elites- freakin' awesome noble protoss-wannabe friends of the grunty with broken jaws saying "wort wort wort" *Hunters- kickass worm men *Drinol- One Eyed Monsters That Are Supposedly Invisible Because They Have Never Been Seen Covenant's Purpose The Covenant's overall plan in life is to do the hoola hoop which would end up boring us all. When the Humans tried to tell them that, the Covenant got mad and attacked Earth. The Covenant see the Forerunners as Gods, despite knowing almost nothing about them. The covenant get into a lot of fights with each other, release AIDS on planets by "accident", and are lead by Prophets who also get in fights with themselves. They have an obsession with coloring all their vehicles purple. I wonder why purple (color of grapes) although the Elites like green (still color of grapes). The Starting of the Covenant The whole Covenant thing started when 4 Prophets were booted from their homeworld for being different. Their names were Inky, Blinky, Pinky and Clyde but they thought there names were too gay so changed them to Truth (who always lies), Mercy (who has no mercy) , Regret (who regrets getting uber pwned by the Master Chief), and Chuck ( who was to scared and ran away and we never heard from him again. He supposedly was killed by Jenkins.) They decided to do something useful so they decided to form an alliance of all the other alien races that were banished from their home worlds and start a successful Grape harvesting company. This failed. Then the four original Prophets decided they were going to worship somebody and then do something stupid that would end up killing them all. They eventually found a Hoola-hoop thingy. They thought it looked cool and started to research it and it's ancient history. One big reason that convinced MANY alien races to join the Grape Growing Allegiance was the constant rumor of being able to swing the Alpha Halo around their hips like a hoola hoop. They found that there was AIDS living on one of the hula-hoop thingys and thought it was a good idea to let it loose by losing their virginities(thus casuing them to be infected) on one another. One of the four original prophets, Chuck, died due to this. The 3 remaining prophets let the AIDS loose then high-tailed it off the hoola-hoop and went around space putting flyers up about the Covenant. After a few thousand years some races joined, like the Grunts and Squid Lizard things. Later, the Monkey guys joined, but were soon gotten rid of. Nobody liked them anyway. A couple hundred years later, they found Earth. The Covenant thought they were too cool for the Humans so they got mad and started a war with the Humans. Little did they know that they were retarded because they would all get killed by the master chief(HEEHAAAHEE). ----